What Grandparents Raising Their Grandkids Don’t Say Out Loud…
It seems that grandparents are afraid to speak their mind on the very personal story of their lives with raising their grandchildren.
Well I am a grandparent in that exact position and I am here to tell you, I am fucking mad.
We raised five children and it wasn’t easy, and to be honest it still isn’t easy. They are all adults, but they still need help. Like all children, they go through a phase where they think you suck; I understand that is a part of it, but it isn’t fun. Add to that fact that we are completely exhausted from raising five children, and were hoping to actually have some peace and quiet along with a bit more money in our pockets. Well, I am begrudgingly here to say, that drug addiction bombed our life into smithereens, and my granddaughter was affected the most.
So your child becomes addicted after having a child, what can you do? Truthfully, your options quite frankly, suck.
- Do nothing, let the state handle it, they can go into foster-care and you can hope you will still get to see them.
- Pursue adoption, try and find new parents for your grandchild that will consider an open adoption so that you can maintain being a grandparent.
- Figure out how to get the child out of your childs care and go for guardianship, and ultimately if your child doesn’t get their life together, you yourselves can adopt your grandchild.
None of these options are ideal, I chose the latter two.
My husband and I gave up our empty nest. We came into our marriage with children from our first marriages, and it had never been just been he and I. We were truly looking forward to our kid-free time together. Our children, one severely autistic who is now in assisted living, one drug-addicted, and the others were in the “you suck” phase when we knew we needed to help our granddaughter. I was not super confident, that we were what was the best option for our granddaughter, maybe we weren’t good at raising kids. I also felt that my granddaughter was getting the short end of the stick. She lost both of her parents, and was inheriting two “olds”, and essentially losing her grandparents because we would now be acting as her parents. Everything about this situation is fucked up, to be blunt.
Your child is addicted to drugs! The parent of your grandchild, can’t take care of your precious grandchild. YOUR CHILD, IS ADDICTED TO DRUGS! We always worry about our children being safe, even when they are adults. My child is flirting with disaster, which could ultimately kill her. My grandchild has lost the only parents she knows, and we have lost our freedom. Like I said earlier, I am fucking PISSED.
So, what did I do? I got my grandchild away from my daughter, and her partner. I got guardianship of my grandchild, and then I removed my daughter’s parental rights. I say this so easy now, but nothing about this was easy. I tried to find new parents for my granddaughter with an adoption agreement in place to maintain my family’s role in her life. I believe still to this day, that this would be a good option for the child affected. They get parents who want nothing more than to be parents, and they keep your family, and you get to continue being their grandparents. This ultimately didn’t work out for us, because really no one has ever tried this before now, at least not where we are from. I learned a lot from this experience and although it failed, it showed me the path clearly that I needed to take.
We adopted our grandchild.
As angry as I have expressed that I am, that is mostly bottled up resentment for the entire situation. We love our granddaughter with every cell of our beings. We are navigating this chapter of our life better than I ever imagined. She is precious, and we are a little family unit, that is actually quite beautiful. I am so proud of her, and I am proud of us. It isn’t easy being this age and starting all over, and we have made a lot of sacrifices, but she is so worth it.
However, any grandparent that says they wouldn’t have it any other way, that grandparent is full of shit! *Mic drop…*