An Article by the Founder of Helping Grandparents: Lisa Holliday
“Grandchildren fill a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” — Unknown
The writing is on the wall, and your child is not a good parent to your adored grandchild. This situation is not a place that you want to be in; no matter what you do, you will lose. Hopefully, however, whatever choices you make will be the right choices for your grandchild’s future; because your grandchild is all that matters, your grandchild safety must come first.
This horrific situation is precisely the predicament I found myself in, in June of 2018. First, before her parents got evicted, she was living in a filthy house, and my daughter was off doing god knows what. Once they were evicted, my granddaughter was living in a car. Drugs were playing a role in all decisions my daughter and her partner were making.
I had to step in and out of my comfort zone. There are many things we can do as grandparents to help the situation, some will work and some won’t. Initially, I put my parent hat on and tried reasoning with my daughter. Then, still, the parent, I decided to get hard and very direct. These tactics didn’t work.
What I tried to keep in mind, as I focused on getting my grandchild out of this situation, is this, “What would my daughter want for her if she had a clear mind?” This thought permitted me to do what I needed to do for my granddaughter.
“What fascinates me about addiction and obsessive behavior is that people would choose an altered state of consciousness that’s toxic and ostensibly destroys most aspects of your normal life because, for a brief moment, you feel okay.”
Dealing with people who are on drugs can be very unpredictable. I had to ready the room virtually every second. I always tried to come from the place of caring but not enabling my daughter. My grandchild was at risk, and I needed to be the grown-up in the room, and get her to safety, by any means necessary.
Ultimately, I achieved my goal and got her to my home, but now what?
With drug addiction being an epidemic in this country, more and more grandparents are stepping in to raise their grandkids. There are limited resources available to grandparents out there, which is why I am here to help. This journey has been the most difficult challenge of my life, so many heartstrings are attached, which always makes things harder.
If you find yourself in this predicament, there is help. You can visit my website for resources and support at www.helpinggrandparents.com. We offer virtual support groups and step by step actions to help. You are not alone.
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